I often play devil’s advocate. I don’t get enjoyment out of disagreeing with people just for the fun of it, but as a journalist, I have come to understand that there is always two sides to a story and most (if not all) things in life are not black and white. Case and point: Miley Cyrus.
I got into a conversation with a coworker the other day about making mistakes in your late teens and twenties. We were discussing a young lady who is 18 and recently decided to get married to a guy she has been dating for only a few weeks. (Lets give her some credit and say it has been a month). While most people would immediately judge this young women and the situation as rash, immature and just plain, for lack of a better word, dumb, I think there’s more to the story. Do I think getting married at 18 to someone you’ve only been dating for a short time is a good idea? No. Would I condone this to my future children? No. However, I do believe that everyone needs to be free to make their mistakes.
Miley Cyrus is a prime example. Miley recently turned 21 and it seemed like 2013 was her big coming out party. From her breakup with Liam Hemsworth, to her pixie hairdo, to her Wrecking Ball video to her performance on the VMAs with Robin Thicke, Miley’s behavior has drawn a lot of attention. Of course, she has gotten a lot of backlash for her actions this past year. For the most part, it seems that little miss Miley doesn’t care but continues to do one outrageous thing after another.
(Photo via posh24.com)
Just to be clear, this is not an “I love Miley Cyrus” post. Truthfully, I am not much of a Miley fan. I don’t dislike her but I am not the first to buy her album or a ticket to her concert. To be honest, I was only able to watch the Wrecking Ball video once. My stomach was just cringing as I sat in my living room watching her straddle a ball completely naked for the world to see. But hey, if that’s her definition of art and that’s the truth she needs to express, who I am I to sit and judge her.
The thing is Miley, just like the engaged 18-year-old, needs the freedom to make her own choices and with that she also needs to be free to make her own mistakes. Do I think Miley thrusting her backside on Robin Thicke was the best idea? No. Do I think that this 18-year-old should be getting married to someone she has known for such a short time? Well, no. But I also believe that falling down is how you learn.
Twenty Something Advice (for Anybody)
My coworker and I disagreed because she was quick to judge Miley and the 18-year-old as dumb people because of their bad decisions. I think “idiot” may have been her word for them. If every person in the world who has ever made a mistake or a really bad choice is an idiot or just a really bad person, well then there are a lot of idiots and dumb people out there. I know I have made some really bad choices and I am only 23. I am sure I will make more mistakes. Looking back on the bad choices I’ve made, I wouldn’t change any of them because I learned from them. I grew. I matured. I changed. Isn’t that what life is all about? Making mistakes, learning and growing.
So hey, yea Miley made some not so wise decisions last year. Maybe when she’s 30 or 40, she’ll look back and think maybe she could have done some things differently. Maybe the 18-year-old girl will find that her marriage is short lived or doesn’t bring her whatever she is searching for. I think people need to be free to make their own choices and mistakes. By all means, if you are in a person’s inner circle (i.e. family or close friends) feel free to warn people and try to give them the most caring advice, but whether they listen or not, you have to be okay with that.
Do you know how many times I wanted to call up Rihanna and tell her not take back Chris Brown? Or how many times I’ve wanted to tell Justin Bieber to not pee in buckets? Or to tell Taylor Swift to not date that boy 5 years younger than her? None of these people are even my close friends. It’s just my perspective as an outsider looking in, but just because I may disagree with others’ choices, I try my best to not judge them as bad people. We all make bad decisions. Those decisions have repercussions, which always bring lessons that are perfectly fit for us. If we really sit with those lessons and ask what they have come to teach us, there’s the marvelous opportunity to grow.
Hoping the best for Miley Cyrus and any other 20 something (or younger or older) who has made mistakes and lots of them!